Wig Alert! (and other compliments)

Wig Alert!
I was walking down this kind of funky street in the city where I live, and as I passed a group of teens (why is it always teens!), they started to yell, WIG ALERT! WIG ALERT!  I ignored them, but they followed me for about a block, saying things like "do you think its alive"?  "I wonder what he feeds it".  "Do you think its on backwards"?  "Maybe he doesnt know its up there".

Compliments
1) Passing a nicely dressed guy on the street, as we pass he  says, "Nice rug, man"

2) walking down the steps in a train station, a guy coming up the steps says, "Oh, THATS undetectable"

Is that a toupee??

While visiting London I was riding on  the lower level of a doubledecker bus.  A bunch of about 8 teens came down the little stairway from the upper deck. As soon as the first one saw me he turned and said something to the others.  They all came and stood just over me, and the first one said, "IS THAT A TOUPEE"?  I ignored him.  He asked it again, louder.  People were looking.  I pretended not to notice (here the hearing aids come in handy), hoping no one would know it was me. He and some of the others kept asking, "IS THAT A TOUPEE"?  Finally I got off the bus!

Fine Art

One day in the early '90s, I worked late.  About 8 PM I left the office and went nearby to a Rustler Steak House and had the salad bar for dinner.  I still had my tie on.  As I was eating I noticed a table with 3 young guys eating and laughing a lot.  After while they got up and left, and as they passed by my table, one of them dropped a paper napkin on my table.  I thought that was really rude.  They went on out.  Then I noticed something written on the napkin. I picked it up.  On the small folded part was written "MR. NECKTIE", with a drawing of a smiley face and a tie.  Well, I thought, thats kind of cute.  Then I opened up the napkin,and inside was this elaborate drawing of big curly hair and the words, "THE WIG KING".  I looked outside, and the 3 guys were standing out there watching me, very amused.

Finding A Barber

Finding a new barber is one of the very worst ordeals for me.  I always used to buy my hairpieces from barbers, so that it was all very convenient.  The barber would sell and fit the hairpiece, and I would of course go to him for periodic hair-cutting. This all changed a couple years ago when I bought two hairpieces on sale at a discount hairpiece place in Florida while I was vacationing there.  Went I went home, I didn't want to go back to my old barber because I thought he would be mad at my buying my piece elsewhere.

 Its my belief that modern hair stylists generally have no idea how to cut the hair of a hairpiece wearer.  I searched the Yellow Pages and finally located a barber shop just a few blocks away that I had never noticed because its in the lobby of a high-rise.  I called - I hate this part - and asked if they knew how to cut the hair of a hairpiece wearer.  He said he did. I went in. He was VERY old, which I took for a good sign, believing that the old barbers who have been around a long time know more.  One thing I did not like was, he asked me to take it off. Generally barbers leave the piece on so they can see as they are cutting my hair how it blends in with the piece.  Also,
its kind of embarrassing to take it off.  Fortunately there were no other customers.  I took it off and he cut my hair. When he had me put the piece back on, he fussed with it awhile and said he really should cut some of the piece.  I said
I'd prefer he not do that (since the hair in the piece will not grow back!!!).  I was reasonably content with the hair cut.  I went to this guy for 15 months, and he finally got me to agree he could cut the piece in the back. BIG MISTAKE! You know how hairpieces are kind of tapered in the back so the barber can comb it in ?  Well, he cuts it straight across in the back, and now it looks like a bowl!  Not only that, but I wear my good one when I go to the barber so he basically ruined my good one (ok, ok, I know that I have no such thing as a good hairpiece, but its all relative, ok?)
All of this time he still had me take it off each time he cut my hair, which I never did get to like.  So the final straw comes when he tells me the barber shop has been sold to a lady who is going to make it into a beauty parlor, but she is going to let him keep his barbar chair back in the corner.  I can just picture going in there for ahaircut and having all these ladies watch me take my piece off.
  Once again I was faced with the ordeal of finding a new barber.  Once again I went to the Yellow Pages and I wrote down a list of about 10 barber shops within about a 10 block radius of my home.  I set out to check them out.  A few were stylists, which I eliminated.  I saw one shop below ground level and loooking in the windows saw a couple of old barbers.  I called then and asked if they knew how to cut with hairpiece involved.  The guy said, no, sorry.  I kept on looking.  I was getting depressed. I hate calling a barber shop and saying, "hi, i wear a hairpiece, can you cut my hair???".  I toyed with the idea of getting rid of it.. I was near despair when I walked past an old fashioned-looking shop with one older barber inside, and no customers.  So I drew up my courage, walked in and said, "hi, can I get a haircut"? He said sure.  I said, "I wear a hairpiece".  He chucked and said, "Yes, I know".  So to make a long story short - this guy is great.  He cut it just right, and even though I have to take the piece off, usually in front of several customers,  I think he is a keeper.
 I hope he lasts a few years!  Life is good.

A Highly Reflective Surface

I was out drinking with some buddies from the office.  One of them had been present for the "Gone with the waves" incident.  There were 5 of us.  We had quite a bit to drink!  When we finally left the bar, we stopped at the new apartment of one of the guys - the guy who had been with me at the beach.  He suddenly came up with a can of Lemon Pledge.  Apparently this had been worked out in advance, probably while I was in the bathroom at the bar.  The other guys grabbed me.  My hairpiece was removed forcibly, and my head was polished to a high gloss with the Lemon Pledge.  They announced that they were going to keep it and bring it to the office the next day. I must have freaked out, because they settled for simply tossing it out the window of the 2d floor apartment.  I dashed down and retrieved it. 

Here are the first 17 pictures.  More to come!

Gone With the Waves - A New Beginning

About a year  after I started wearing, I went to the beach with some friends, whom I had not known pre-wig and with whom the subject had never been discussed.  I was feeling pretty cocky, having worn a piece for 2 years without catastrophe. It was just a day trip.  I thought I had fastened the rug down pretty well with extra tape.  Well, the 3 of us were having fun in the ocean.  I dove into a wave... and came up with my bowling ball gleaming in the sun!  Frantically I looked around, but of course, it was gone!  My friends dissolved into gales of laughter.  I spent the rest of the day wearing a baseball cap, which they spent the rest of the day pulling off my head.  In those early days I didnt know enough to always have a spare piece. That had been my only one! I took Monday off, frantically calling my barber, only to realize the universal truth - barbers are closed Mondays!  Now I was desperate.  Tuesday morning I HAD to be in the office for a big meeting. I didn't know what the barber could do for me anyway. I guess I hoped he would have a piece in stock that I could wear.  But, this meeting I had to be at, started at 9:30 and the barber doesn't open until 10.  This was like a really big deal now, and basically what I had to do was start over again.  I went to the office bald - and not only bald, but with my white head usually covered by a toupee set off against my sun-tanned face.  This destroyed my year of image-building in one fell swoop.  I was able to reach the barber by phone, but he confirmed that he had no pieces in stock that would suit me.  We started over again, with the measuring and the fitting, and I was a bald-headed 24-year old for 6 weeks until a new piece came in and I started all over again - from then on I have NEVER been without a spare.